What is Joe Bought Bread?

This is how it all began. It's the same old story...boy meets girl.  She lives on her sailboat, he lives a few boats down on his powerboat.  He invites her over often, they laugh, have fun and fall in love.  They move to the islands, live on a boat, travel and play until they're almost 40 years old.  They get married, buy a house, have a baby.....and BAM. It all falls apart and they divorce.   Seems normal these days right?  Well, not quite. It's a unique story, but it ends in a very unusual way.  It started with a boat and 2 pieces of paper.  


He scribbled a message on two post it notes as a  joke to teach her about his style of communication. She reads them aloud while laughing.  The first reads: "Joe and Ann live in the country.  One day, Ann asked Joe to go to the store in town between the Post Office and the store with the blue awning to buy a loaf of bread."  The second one reads: "Joe bought bread".  Point taken.  He wants her to just get to the point more often so his eyes don't glass over.  It was such a cute and funny way of expressing that he doesn't like it when she gives way too many details.  Well, be honest.  We women do that all too often.  


Using JBB works in so many situations when there are just too many unnecessary details flying.  I often wish I could just say what he usually said....."Can you give me "Joe Bought Bread"?  And that's how it started.


THE JBB CONCEPT IS A VALUABLE PART OF COMMUNICATION


If you really want to make a change in your life and be happy, 
here are some starters to live by:


Keep it simple.
Be real.
Say it with a smile.
Recognize the differences between Men and Women and CELEBRATE THEM!


STOP the madness of divorce.


If you don't like each other now, you surely won't like each other after you get married.
If you can't have fun and try new things, well, maybe a relationship is NOT for you.
If you ladies think men need to be your sounding board....Ummm, NO (you need girlfriends to talk to).
Ladies, if you think your man is supposed to be EVERYTHING. Think again.  He's a lot but NOT everything.


Men, if you think we don't deserve affection...think TWICE. You have to give a little to get a little.
Men, if you're not sincere with your affection, and you say "It was for you because you like that", it's time for a visit to charm school.

If you really don't want a relationship....well, just say so and move on early.  There are plenty of people who will be single for the rest of their lives.  Relationships aren't for everyone.  Do what is best for you.


If you really feel you desire a relationship in your life...then get real.  IT'S a TON of work all the time.  It's worth it.  If you want it you better work for it.  


You can have any woman (or man) you deserve.  Well....that's just simple, no explanation necessary.
Consider that you CAN GET FIRED from your relationship.  Just like at work, if you do something really stupid, rude, disrespectful, dangerous or illegal you WILL get fired.  Relationships are no different.  You can get fired.  Treat your relationship that way.

Just like at work, if you have a union, you get a contract.  Before you go and get married because you're all in love, write a contract.  Make it effective for one year.  At the end when it's time to renegotiate, if you can't come to terms you can both agree on.....then either renegotiate or agree to go separate ways before there are children involved and expensive lawyers to pay. Don't waste precious time and money on that garbage...and not to mention saving yourself from the stress of divorce.


Be real.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.  
Think before you speak.  No excuses.
If you think the neighbors or some friends you know have the perfect marriage or relationship...think again.  Everyone has conflict.  It's how you manage it that will keep you together or split you apart.  


Start with SELF AWARENESS.


If you think  you're worth being with because you're sexy, good looking and sweet, please know and accept there relationships that are SUCCESSFUL have a much stronger foundation than that.  There's a lot more to being a good partner than having fun and good looks.  You have to have something to offer, a sense of reality, a little bit of adventuresome nature, be outgoing, open minded and willing to learn or try new things. 


If you're happy alone, then just be alone.


If you're a social butterfly and your partner is not, then you better keep in mind that you can't change people.  Accept your partner for who they are and realize that one person cannot be EVERYTHING to you.  That's why we all have friends.  Friends fill the gap for things our partner does not.  And there's nothing wrong with that, in fact it's quite healthy.


Be honest.  


If you ask "Do I look fat in this dress", you better be ready for the truth.


Be kind.
If she asks if she looks fat, tell her that it's not a flattering style to her body and something else would look better.  Letting us girls walk out the door looking like crap is unacceptable.  We want to look nice and we want the truth.


There are a lot of good looking, sweet people out there.  Let's face it we can all improve ourselves some. Don't be a stubborn person, admit when you're wrong and work on becoming better.  Or....be alone and COMPLAIN about everyone else.
Being alone is a fine option.
Being in a relationship is a lot of work.  It's not for the weak and lazy.  Life is not a Country Club.


Take time apart.  Don't just squish yourselves together non stop.  It's not healthy.
Be honest and just say nicely what you want. Don't keep things hidden until they come out in a burst during a fight. 


Constructive criticism is ok and necessary.  Most of the time our partner can tell us things no one else can or would. We're supposed to help each other grow, not just run away because we think you're difficult.  Our relationship is supposed to be our safe place in the world.  Help each other grow and accept that neither of you is perfect. 


It's not a joke....you CAN BE HAPPIER.  The goal? A happy life.  Happy wife means happy life and all that stuff.  A Happy Spouse means a Happy House. Yes, it's true.  Don't believe it? Well, just look around at all the couples who don't make it.  Do you think Men make these problems? How about Women?  Who does it? It doesn't matter.  If we want to live together and be happy, there's one way to start! Communicate effectively and respect our differences. ‚Äč Help each other.  Be kind.  Be patient.  Be loving. 


If you want something different than you've had, you've got to do something different than you've ever done.  Start today.